Every New Year I write out a list of resolutions for the year. Throughout my life, those resolutions have been quite similar: get fit/stay fit, work hard in school and grow in my relationship with the Lord. This year I read Great Expectations and was reminded at often how unattainable or vague my resolutions are. In Great Expectations, Pip has such great expectations for his life, but in the end his life is very different from what he expected. This New Year, I challenge you as I challenge myself to set some very specific goals for yourself. Mine are specific, yet they are challenging, but not too lofty. They give me a clear picture of what I want to accomplish, and ultimately will make me a better person. So without further ado, I give you my New Year's resolutions for 2013.

• Seek out the Lord in all that I do-Not just when I'm broken/scared/unsure, but even in daily things in life such as what to say, how to act, and when to shut my mouth.
• Really seek the Lord in school-I've struggled with keeping it all to myself as I think I'm smart enough to handle it, but I'm not, I need God's help.
• Make my prayers long and pray for specific people-I've done better this year for praying for people, but I want to work on that even more in the next 12 months.
• Help others get through those years when I had a hard time-I've started discipling a sweet 11 year old girl, and I want to help her through those hard years and lead her to the cross to seek Christ in all she does.
• Foster a better relationship with Ellie-Ever since my little sister was born I have said that I will get along with her better when she's older, but this year I want to push myself to reach out to her and help her grow as a little girl.
• Run three times a week-I've pushed myself to start running and this year I want to continue that.
• Take the definition of Wunderlust to heart-Wunderlust has been widely spread on many of the blogs I follow and it means: a strong longing or impulse towards wandering and travel. This fall I might be in Scotland, or Kosovo or Denmark, or here at home, but I want to wander. To experience amazing life through just wandering; seeing the beauty and acting on it by writing or drawing or taking pictures. As Tolkien said "Not all who wander are lost" and I want to take that to heart this year. 

Happy New Year! 

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Rain pitter patters outside as I sit in my warm, comfy bed. Looking around my room, I am filled with nostalgia. I’m not ready. I love being a kid. I see pictures of my best friend and I from when we were 8, my obsession since second grade: penguins, and pictures from my recent missions trip to Scotland, I don’t want to move on from this. I love where I am right now. I’m so happy, and change is scary. The first college application is being sent in this week. God has destined me for great purposes, and going to college is part of his plan, but at the same time, I’m scared and afraid of the big world out there. I’m really young. I’m graduating young. Am I ready? Intellectually yes, but emotionally? I don’t know. 

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A. Age: 15

B. Bed size: Queen :)

C. Chore that you hate: Vacuuming. I'd rather clean toilets, empty the dishwasher, do laundry. Anything but the evil vacuum that makes tons of noise, trips me up, and gets stuck in the door...

D. Dogs: Steeler (AKA:The gentle giant, the black limosine, baby): He's a great dane-black lab-greyhound mix. Our neighbors found him wandering our street and asked if we wanted him. He came to spend the night and he's been a keeper ever since :)

E. Essential start to your day: Jesus Calling, my phone alarm which is convienently set to "Good Morning" by Mandisa, and a cup of steaming English tea.

F. Favorite color: Blue

G. Gold or Silver: Silver definitely. For some reason I have never liked gold; I think it is just because silver is so classy and classic.

H. Height: 5’2...But as I tell people: I'm not short, I'm concentrated awesome!

I. Instruments you play: The violin. I haven't played in a while, but I do love it.

J. Job title: Student, photographer, Assistant Director of the Student Tech Team. 

K. Kids: I'm 15.... so I have none haha

L. Live: In North Carolina.  

M. Mother’s name: Kirstie. The brit obsessed with tea. :)

N. Nicknames: Em, Emmergizer, Shorty, Penguinator.

O. Overnight hospital stays: For a knee surgery, birth and I think a couple of other times.

P. Pet peeves: I hate it when people sing my favorite songs on the radio while they are on. The worst is when they get the words wrong and I just cringe inside.

Q. Quote from a movie: "I'm tired, I'm hungry, this car smells weird." -Riley Poole- National Treasure. One of the best movies ever.

R. Right or left handed: Right.  

S. Siblings: One sister who is 5. A cute, adorable, singing, dancing, princess; the complete opposite of me.

T. Time it takes you to get ready: Normally 10 minutes and that is makeup, clothes, and hair :)

U. Ultimate Vacation: I love Scotland, but probably Italy(I'm going there next year for my sweet 16!) or Australia.

V. Vegetable you hate: Mushrooms, Eggplant, and spinach.

W. What makes you run late: Other people(as I can't drive).

X. X-Rays you’ve had: A couple for my knee (to check and see if my growth plates were closed), and one for my leg when I broke it at age 4.

Y. Yummy food that you make: An amazing french chocolate cake, really good but unhealthy meals, and tea!

Z. Zoo animal: Penguins duhh!

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I'm sitting here with a finger sandwich in one hand, and a steamy mug of tea in the other. I sound so posh and british. Something about tea though, it puts me in the British mindset. It makes me want to write a book like C.S. Lewis, figure out love like Jane Austen, or act like Shakespeare. With my Mum being English I've always had a love for anything British (even though Lewis calls the English people "the most deplorable milksops"). Everything from the pattern on their flag, to their sayings, to their literature I absolutely love.  Seeing a wall that was built in A.D. 100, a castle that housed a duke and his duchess, and jewels as old as the country itself gives me such a thrill. To know that my heritage is found on an island chock full and brimming over with history makes me proud that I have british blood in me. Even though I don't have an accent, I'm English/Scottish by heart :)

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As I've been beginning college application essays, I realize how similar blogging and those essays are. Both of them require decent english skills in order to succeed. Both encourage you to write about yourself: your life experiences, skills, attributes, rough times and thoughts. Both of them leave you sitting at your desk trying to sort through all the jumbled thoughts, ideas, and sparks that toss and turn in your brain. I've loved the concept of blogging ever since I read my first blog, but never have I been able to create the same reading experience as Carlotta does at pastorsgirlsponderings, Susannah does at (life is too short not to) wear red shoes , or what Sarah does at Thoroughly Alive, but this is a place for me to express my thoughts, and I'm not those people. Now that I think about it, I shouldn't compare myself to them for that reason. I'm just a 15 year-old who enjoys writing, but can never think of anything to write about. I hope that during the coming school year I will come to the point of posting every couple of days with a new and original idea come straight out of the inner workings of my mind, but that might not happen. We'll see what this year holds. Maybe writing all these college essays will spark my blogging spirit that I know to be inside. Maybe. Just Maybe.

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Being in the blogging world full of artists, artsy and just overall all creative people, I found out about moleskines. Just because there were cute little notebooks with brandnames made me want to buy some. I told myself I wouldn't buy one unless I had a need; I racked my brain endlessly for days trying to find a use for these little gems of a notebook. Finally I decided on a song lyric book that I could keep in my purse and write down lyrics when I heard them. That's when I bought the small volant pack with a light blue and a dark blue. I first started writing lyrics, then drawing pictures for the lyrics and now it's basically an quote book sprinkled with art as I feel like doing it :)

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My view of love is based a lot on Jane Austen and her works. One of my favorite quotes from Sense and Sensibility is "I could not be happy with a man whose taste did not in every point coincide with my own. He must enter into all feelings; the same books, the same music must charm us both" Love is not a feeling. Love is hard to describe. I can't define it myself because I have not experienced true human love myself. I have however experienced the perfect, pure love of God which knows no bounds, and is so deep that god sent His Son to die for me, a filthy , rotten dirty, ugly sinner. That is true love, not the way society defines love, but love that called me, saved me, justified me and sanctifies me every single day.

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