I'm in somewhat of an identity crisis at the moment. I feel like I'm in a bubble. Floating over reality. In Limbo. Able to see everything, but unable to do anything about it. Everything is moving slowly, and at a tedious pace. In this bubble I am uncertain about my future. Am I going to go to college next year, or the year after? Will I have a gap year or will I not? Will I be spiritually, emotionally and intellectually prepared for college?
It's not that I'm insecure but my mind just spins and twirls and leaves me without thoughts I can rely on. Every college I have toured, I have wanted to go to. What is this supposed to mean? Can I trust what I think about college? The whole idea of "you know the right one when you step onto campus" is a bunch of fooey, honestly. Every school I have visited feels like the right one. Ultimately, I'm sure the pricetags on these colleges will bring my mind back down from la la land, but until then, I'm stuck in the land of dreams thinking, dreaming and planning for each college I "want" to go to.
Even though I'm struggling with this my feeling of helplessness and uncertainty about what lies ahead, I comfort myself on this song by Jason Gray and know that God has the best thing planned for me and that I don't have to worry and plan, and ponder all of these major decisions, but I can give them up to God!
I didn't know on any campus tour.
ReplyDeleteI knew when I received the acceptance letter. UNC was my last acceptance letter.
You'll know. AND if it ends up not being the best, you can always transfer. I promise. Many do.
I hope things become clear for you :) I know what you mean about feeling in a bubble, I hope your feet are back on the ground soon :)
ReplyDeleteKimmy x