Dear Brain, Please Shut Up.

Well...another semester has begun for me. A semester full of english classes to temper out Calculus and Organic Chemistry. A semester which will lead into an amazing summer. Most importantly, a semester where I am determined to make more friends on campus and witness.

This first week has been rough, just like last semester. But surprisingly it has not been due to my classes, but rather to the fact that my brain won't shut up. Whenever I am mentally exhausted, whether it be due to school, life circumstances, or physical exhaustion, my brain goes into hyperdrive. It is almost as if all my thoughts are stacks of papers, and then a mighty tempest comes through my room full of papers and mixes them all up. At the same time, time just seems to have slowed down this week. I have been ready for the weekend, not because I don't want to go to class, but I don't want to deal with the monotonous nature of college. It has been an emotional roller coaster for sure... 

An example from my brain this week: Can I really spend the rest of my life in a lab doing experiments...what if I get bored...what if I get skin cancer...I like English maybe I'll just do that since its easy...oh man I get to go to Hawaii this summer...why is it not summer already...what does the Lord want me to do with my life...have I upset this person because I did this thing...did they take it in the wrong they think bad of they hate me...they never want to talk to me...why did I commit to helping with this event...i can't handle life anymore... 

Earlier in the week I had a meeting for this conference that I will be speaking at and one of the ladies said something that really encouraged me. "When you are in that funk, just worship."This really hit me as I have perpetuated this funk through dwelling on me and continuing to have a pity party and attempting to pull people into that pity party. However, I really need to just be worshipping God for another day on this beautiful earth and enjoy every moment I have on it and be relying on Him for strength, rather than seeking that from others. 

The funk didn't leave immediately, but by the Lord's grace it has finally left and worshipping the Lord through it all definitely was key.


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1 comment:

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